... or almost bleeding uterus. Perhaps you should never move in with someone on the cusp of PMS. It's the only thing I can think of that would put me in such a grump mood beginning last night when I got home from dinner with friends. I won't go into it here because that wouldn't be right. But needless to say, today I woke up in a horrible mood, I'm over analyzing myself and everything around me, and I'm actually mad that it's sunny out. I'm frantic about the second move, mainly because no progress at all has been made on Factor's end of camp. There is SO much work to be done. I'm willing to help, but I need to see some sort of effort on his end. See how overanalytical I'm being? It's TUESDAY people, we just moved me in on FRIDAY NIGHT and already I'm like "dude, what have you been doing this whole time!??" and it's been TWO DAYS into the week.
Yes, I must chill. Dinner plans cancelled on me last night, which was fine because then I was able to go to the Upper West and eat yummy chicken pesto pasta and vino with my newly acquired other-side neighbors. But today, my dinner plans got cancelled also. And it's freaking me out. Because then I'm thinking, what the hell am I supposed to do during the evening when Factor goes to the gym... and then he'll come home when he's used to coming home to silence and nothing and there I'll be? It's freaking me out. i just need to relax and accept that I'm not the only one who has to adjust... I need to not FEAR his adjustment. I actually need to let him experience the adjustment or we're never going to react to each other. Moving in together is complicated, ain't it.
I also need to admit to myself that it's not going to be EASY for me to spend hours on end by myself with myself. I need to get really comfortable with myself and learn how to just be - without filling my time with dinners, lunches, movies, and shopping - otherwise, I'm going to be really poor, really fat, and a total life failure.
And who needs that?
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